


Yo Ho, A Pirate’s Egg Hunt for Me

by CaptainSwanLuver



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Easter, Easter Egg Hunt, F/M, Holidays, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 14:44:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10619106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainSwanLuver/pseuds/CaptainSwanLuver
Summary: Never let a pirate plan an Easter egg hunt.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just some Easter fun at the expense of our Captain. Hope you enjoy it! ~Steph

...Yo Ho, A Pirate’s Egg Hunt for Me: Part 1/1…

“Swan,” Killian began, as he sat down across from his wife and her mother at Granny’s. “Why are there bunnies and eggs covering every bloody surface of this diner?”

“It’s for Easter,” she replied. “It’s in a couple of weeks. I think this is just the first time we’ve actually been in this realm to celebrate it.”

Killian arched a brow. “And what exactly does this holiday entail in this realm?”

Snow smiled. “Kids visit the Easter Bunny. They decorate Easter eggs. They have Easter egg hunts. You give kids baskets filled with candy and trinkets.”

Killian nodded. “I see. So this is a children’s holiday.”

Emma shrugged. “More or less.”

Snow leaned forward. “That’s not true at all. Families also have a big feast. Easter can be fun for all ages. And, Hook, since you brought it up, I know Regina is looking for someone to organize Storybrooke’s annual Easter egg hunt in the park.”

Emma let out a scoff. “Mom, I really don’t think Killian is interested in organizing an Easter egg hunt for a bunch of kids.”

Killian held up his hook. “Hold on. If there’s anything a pirate likes, it’s a good old fashioned treasure hunt.”

“See,” Snow said with a self-satisfied smile at her daughter.

“Killian, you don’t need to feel obligated just because my mother asked you.” Emma held up her left hand, flashing her engagement and wedding rings. “We’re married now. You don’t need to keep trying to impress her.”

He shook his head. “I do not feel obligated. A year ago, I was torn away from you and this town. And I wasn’t prepared for how much I missed it. Storybrooke is my home now, Emma. I think it’s high time I start acting as such and begin contributing to this community.”

“I think helping to defend it from the villain-of-the month is more than enough contribution,” Emma replied.

Snow patted her daughter’s hand. “Emma, if your husband would like to volunteer to organize the Easter egg hunt, then let him.” She paused and winked. “It will be good practice for when you have little ones of your own soon and have Easter egg hunts in your backyard.”

Emma’s eyes grew wide, as she exchanged a glance with her husband. 

Emma cleared her throat uncomfortably. “We’ve only been married a year, Mom. Slow down.”

Killian’s lips slid into a smile, as he linked his fingers with wife’s. “I look forward to the day when we can share such events with our children, love.”

Emma smiled at the thought. Easter had never been anything special for her growing up. No big feast. No egg hunts. No visits to the Easter Bunny or dying eggs. She never even got an Easter basket. The most she ever got was a few measly little chocolate eggs. 

She wanted things to be different for their children. She wanted to start traditions and make memories as a family. 

…

It was Easter morning and the hunt was set to begin. Everyone arrived at the park as scheduled.

Emma smiled at Killian. “I am so proud of you for taking this on. You didn’t even ask for any help.”

He cocked a brow. “Swan, I’m a pirate. I’ve been on many a treasure hunt. I hardly see how a children’s hunt for eggs would be a challenge.”

Emma chuckled. “You’ve never witnessed an Easter egg hunt before. The kids can be brutal. Parents too. It can devolve into total chaos.”

Killian offered her a grin, a twinkle in his eyes. “Sounds bloody entertaining.”

It was nearly 10 a.m. The children lined up at the spot Killian had marked, Easter baskets in hand. Neal and Robin were finally able to walk, so they were ready to toddle around in search of the eggs. 

Killian waved his hook above his head. “On your mark, get set, go!”

The children took off like bulls in Pamplona. Neal and Robin were nearly trampled by the older children. The kids scattered throughout the park. They looked under benches, in the flower beds, in the bushes, even in the trees. Ten minutes passed without a single egg being found. 

“Um, Killian, you did remember to hide the eggs, right?” Emma asked.

“Love, what kind of pirate would I be if I forgot to conceal the treasure?”

“Okay, but the kids haven’t found any of the eggs yet.”

He shrugged. “It’s quite obvious they are amateurs. It’s not as if I would hide treasure in a bush.”

Emma’s brow furrowed worriedly as a few children began to cry. She turned to her husband.

“But you did hide them in places where they could be seen by the kids, right?”

“Seen?” Killian said, his eyes growing wide. “Why the devil would I do that?”

“Um, so the kids could actually find the eggs. That’s the whole point of an Easter egg hunt, Killian. They’re supposed to be at least a little visible.”

“Love, where is the challenge in that? Where’s the fun?”

Emma gestured to the children before them, all of whom were either crying, screaming, or pouting now. “Does this look fun to you?”

Killian gestured with his hook. “It’s a good life lesson. Nothing of value ever comes easily.”

Emma groaned and mumbled, “You’re going to be super fun to parent with.”

Killian placed a kiss to her temple, her sarcasm lost on him. “As are you, Swan.”

Emma crossed her arms over her chest, as her parents and Zelena came storming over to them.

“What kind of bloody egg hunt is this?!” Zelena snarled. “My Robin is in tears!”

David shook his head. “Listen, Hook, if you forgot to hide the eggs, then just tell us. The kids are going nuts.”

Snow nodded. “No one will blame you. This was your first Easter egg hunt. We should have helped you.”

Killian shook his head. “I did not require any help, nor did I forget to hide the eggs.”

Emma sighed heavily. She was glad Regina was busy today or she was sure she would also be raging at Killian. 

“He hid them out of sight,” Emma finally said. 

Zelena gritted her teeth together. “What?! Have you used up all of your nine lives yet? Because I’m about to take one more!”

Emma held her arm out to block her, as Zelena lifted her hands to choke Killian. 

“Okay, everyone just calm down.” She turned to her husband. “Killian, how about you give the kids some hints to help them find the eggs?”

Killian’s jaw tightened. “Well, it goes against my pirate code, but I suppose I could make an exception this one time.”

“Thank you,” Snow said.

David hollered for the kids to come over. Their faces were red and tearstained as they stood before Killian.

“Hello, lads and lasses. I see your efforts have been fruitless so far. Fear not. Your perseverance will be rewarded. I once ravaged an entire village before locating my treasure. It was-...”

Emma elbowed him in the ribs and muttered. “Skip the story.”

“Very well,” he said. “Now, children, you must think. Where would a pirate hide his treasure?”

One little boy’s hand shot up. “He would bury it!” he yelled.

Killian’s eyes lit up. “Precisely, lad!”

Emma turned to him. “You buried the Easter eggs?”

Killian nodded. “Aye.”

David blew out a frustrated breath. “Hook, what were you thinking? The kids don’t have shovels.”

Killian shrugged his shoulders. “Well, you’re their parents. I can’t be faulted if you brought them to a treasure hunt unprepared.”

“They could be anywhere! Look at all of the piles of dirt and bushes and flower beds! We’ll be here for days!” Zelena screamed. “This is what I get for trying to involve my daughter in the ridiculous traditions of this realm.”

The children started crying again. Emma threw Killian a glare, as Snow held up a hand.

“Okay, calm down, everyone. We can still salvage this. Zelena, can you conjure up some plastic shovels for the kids?” Snow asked.

“I suppose,” Zelena said. “But I say we save ourselves some time and trouble. I can dig up this entire park with the wave of my hand.”

David placed his hands on his hips. “That would take all of the fun out of an Easter egg hunt, Zelena.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Zelena said. “I must have missed the part where this was fun.”

Snow clenched her teeth. “Will you conjure up some shovels or not?”

“Fine,” Zelena said begrudgingly. 

“Okay, then we’ll help them dig, starting with the areas that seem to have been disturbed recently,” David said.

Zelena waved her hand and plastic shovels appeared on the ground. The children scurried to retrieve a shovel and then took off running in various directions as their parents followed after them.

Killian offered Emma a grin. “This is even more entertaining than I imagined.”

 

Emma shook her head. “You’re incorrigible.”

An hour later, there were still no eggs to be found. The children were tired, sweaty, dirty, and cranky, as were their parents.

Zelena came storming towards Killian again, eyes flaring. She waved a tiny shovel in his face. “Alright, you foolish pirate, you better tell us where those bloody eggs are right now or I am going to use this shovel to dig your grave.”

“I imagine that would take quite a bit of time, but would be a sight to behold,” Killian replied with a chuckle. He shook his head firmly. “It’s as if you’ve never been on a treasure hunt before. No pirate worth his bounty hides his treasure just below the surface.”

David and Snow appeared by Zelena’s side. 

 

“Wait, are you saying that the eggs aren’t buried a few inches below the surface?” Snow asked.

Emma squeezed her eyes closed. “Seriously?” she groaned.

Killian offered them all a satisfied grin. “Inches? Bloody hell, you must think me an amateur. The eggs are buried feet below the surface.”

“Feet?!” they all exclaimed. 

Zelena shook her head violently. “That’s it. I’ve tried to be a good mum and let Robin have her fun, but I am done. We’re doing this my way now.”

Zelena waved her hand and every hole that was dug deepened several feet. The children cheered and raced toward the holes. Their parents followed them. Emma looked at Killian, who had adopted a frown.

“Sorry, I know this wasn’t your idea of a treasure hunt.”

“And to think I believed I had made it easy by telling them the eggs were in the park and not forcing them to use a treasure map to locate them.”

“That was very thoughtful of you,” Emma said.

The kids reached the eggs and started picking them up, but it soon became apparent that something was wrong. In their hands, they held real white eggs, not plastic eggs filled with chocolate. They began to cry again.

Emma turned to Killian. “Where are the Easter eggs?”

“Right there, love.”

“No, those are regular eggs, Killian. They’re not even dyed. Where’s all of the candy?”

“Candy?” he asked, lifting a brow.

“Yes, the candy that is supposed to be in the plastic eggs.”

“No one ever said anything about candy or plastic eggs,” he replied.

Emma sighed. He was right. They hadn’t. They had assumed he knew.

“Okay, please tell me you at least hardboiled those eggs.”

“Hardboiled?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Oh God,” she mumbled.

The children began to crack the eggs on the ground, hoping that at the very least they had found hardboiled eggs that they could eat or dye at home. But every egg splattered on them, yolk covering their outfits and shoes. 

Snow, David, and Zelena came charging towards Emma and Killian again. 

“You are a bloody fool!” Zelena screamed. 

“Hook, if you needed help, you should have asked,” Snow said.

“This is a disaster!” David yelled. 

Emma held up her hands. “Okay, everyone calm down. It was an honest mistake. And in the grand scheme of things, like curses and spells, this is pretty minor.”

Killian nodded. “I agree. Life is filled with disappointment. The lads and lasses might as well learn that now.”

Zelena bobbed her head. “You’re right. It is.” 

“I appreciate you-...” Killian began, but was cut off by Zelena lifting her arm and throwing an egg right in his face.

Emma and Snow’s mouths dropped open, as David fell into hysterics. 

The shell and yolk slowly slid down Killian’s face. The children turned to see the commotion and saw the mess that was now Killian.

One of the older boys waved his arm at Killian. “Get him!” he screamed.

Suddenly, all of the children raced toward Killian, armed with eggs. Emma and Killian’s eyes widened in horror.

“Run!” Emma shouted at her husband.

But it was too late. His back was pelted with eggs as he attempted to escape. His leather jacket and jeans were covered in egg by the time he rounded the corner and jumped in the bug. Emma quickly followed, locking the door behind them. The children continued to pursue them, attacking the car with eggs. When they had finally used up all of their eggs, they retreated.

Killian turned to his wife, his face growing red with embarrassment, as he sucked in a breath. 

“I’m sorry, love,” he said.

Emma laughed, as she lifted her hand to pick shell out of his hair. “This may be your home now, Killian, but you still have a lot to learn about this realm.”

He bobbed his head, as he threaded their fingers together. “I may make my share of mistakes along the way, but I’ll never stop trying. It’s important to me to fit into your realm as best I can.”

Emma squeezed his hand and shook her head. “I love you just the way you are, Killian.”

She then leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips, wincing at the taste of raw egg. 

She pulled back, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand. “But let’s keep the organizing of town events to the rest of the citizens.”

He nodded. “As you wish.”

“And when we have children of our own, I will organize our backyard Easter egg hunt.”

Killian chuckled and shrugged. “Very well, but I will make sure our offspring know how to conduct themselves properly during a treasure hunt.”

Emma smiled and started up the car. 

“Oh, and, Killian?” she said, turning back to him.

“Yes, love?”

“You’re washing the car when we get home,” she said.

He let out a groan. “Perhaps you could use your magic to assist me?”

“Not gonna happen.”

“Come on, Swan. Please.”

Emma smiled and patted his leg. “Nope. Think of it as a good life lesson. Life is filled with disappointment.”

Killian dropped his head against the headrest and squeezed his eyes closed, as his wife’s laughter filled his ears. 

Emma knew one thing was for sure: Life with her pirate would never be dull and this was just the beginning of the memories they would create together.

...THE END…  
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. I’d appreciate hearing what you thought. ~Steph


End file.
